{"product_id":"christmas-jumper-wanker-funny-christmas-jumper","title":"Christmas Jumper Wanker Funny Christmas Jumper","description":"\u003cp\u003eWe all know one: the colleague who starts wearing festive jumpers on the first of November and doesn’t stop until Twelfth Night. This design is our tribute to them. It’s a knit-effect print made to look like a classic Fair Isle panel, with rows of white and pink snowflakes, little green trees topped with yellow stars, a winking Santa face peeping over the lettering and a red-nosed reindeer in a holly collar standing guard on each side, all on a navy ground. CHRISTMAS JUMPER is spelled out in white stitch-effect capitals, and the verdict underneath comes in bold red letters with a yellow outline: the one-word British insult for that colleague. It’s less an innuendo Christmas jumper, more a name badge.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe panel is printed large on the front in bright, full colour, with a thick black outline that keeps it sharp on all 11 colours: red, purple, navy, royal blue, charcoal, Irish green, forest green, maroon, sport grey, black and white. Wear it on Christmas Jumper Day to beat everyone to the joke, or hand it over at Secret Santa to the person who organised the office Christmas party spreadsheet. Plenty of funny Christmas jumpers try to look like the real thing; this one looks the part and then calls you a name. Among hilarious Christmas jumpers, it’s the self-aware one.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis is one of our rude Christmas jumpers that swears in plain sight, so maybe skip it on the school run. It’s an offensive Christmas jumper aimed squarely at the wearer, which is the most British kind. If you like rude Xmas jumpers, offensive Xmas jumpers and inappropriate Christmas jumpers that mock the whole tradition, start here, and know part of our profits supports mental-health charities. Choose your colour and size, add it to your basket and order early so the Christmas rush doesn’t catch you without one. Superfans will call it one of the funniest Xmas jumpers ever made, and the cheekiest of all our funny Xmas jumpers and inappropriate Xmas jumpers. Takes one to know one.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eProduct features\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Medium-heavy 8.0 oz\/yd² (271 g\/m²) 50\/50 cotton-polyester blend for comfort and durability\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Classic fit with a crew neckline and shape-retaining ribbed collar\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Double-needle stitching at key seams for added durability\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Tubular knit construction without side seams for reduced fabric waste and a smooth look\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Adult sweatshirt with ethically grown US cotton and OEKO-TEX® STANDARD 100 certified dyes\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Do not 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