{"product_id":"dear-santa-i-regret-nothing-funny-christmas-jumper","title":"Dear Santa, I Regret Nothing Funny Christmas Jumper","description":"\u003cp\u003eSanta keeps a list, and some of us have stopped pretending we’re on the right one. Our Dear Santa, I Regret Nothing funny Christmas jumper is a letter to the North Pole that skips the apology entirely. The pale-green page has a candy-cane striped border, a curled corner and a sprig of mistletoe tied with a red bow at the top. DEAR SANTA, is written in red, then I REGRET NOTHING takes over in big hot-pink letters. The doodles tell the rest of the story: a fizzing glass of champagne, a grinning red devil, a lipstick kiss, a pair of pink fluffy handcuffs and a bit of holly. It’s an innuendo Christmas jumper that confesses everything and explains nothing.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe letter is printed large across the front in bright, full colour with a thick black outline, so it stands out on all 11 colours: red, purple, navy, royal blue, charcoal, Irish green, forest green, maroon, sport grey, black and white. It’s ideal for the girls’ night out, a hen-style Christmas party or the morning after the office do, when everyone already knows. Among funny Christmas jumpers, it has the most personality per square inch, and it’s one of those hilarious Christmas jumpers that makes friends ask for the full story.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe naughty list has never looked so pink. This sits happily with our rude Christmas jumpers, though it’s mischievous rather than an offensive Christmas jumper. If you’re after rude Xmas jumpers, offensive Xmas jumpers or inappropriate Christmas jumpers for the whole group, this is the one with the handcuffs, and it’s easily among the funniest Xmas jumpers we stock. Some things are worth regretting less, too: part of our profits goes to mental-health charities. Pick your colour, pick your size, add it to your basket and order early, before the Christmas rush makes you wait. Funny Xmas jumpers and inappropriate Xmas jumpers, sealed with a kiss. Signed, the naughty list.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eProduct features\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Medium-heavy 8.0 oz\/yd² (271 g\/m²) 50\/50 cotton-polyester blend for comfort and durability\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Classic fit with a crew neckline and shape-retaining ribbed collar\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Double-needle stitching at key seams for added durability\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Tubular knit construction without side seams for reduced fabric waste and a smooth look\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Adult sweatshirt with ethically grown US cotton and OEKO-TEX® STANDARD 100 certified dyes\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Do not 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