{"product_id":"i-have-a-big-package-for-you-funny-christmas-jumper","title":"I Have a Big Package for You Funny Christmas Jumper","description":"\u003cp\u003eEvery Christmas morning has a big present, and Santa has brought his own. Our I Have a Big Package for You funny Christmas jumper presents him like an old master painting, inside an ornate gold baroque frame. Santa reclines on a white fur rug in front of a roaring fire, bare-chested and hairy, head propped on one hand, winking at the viewer. Three stockings hang from the holly-trimmed mantelpiece behind him, and in his lap sits a large green present wrapped in a big red bow. I HAVE A BIG runs along the top in white, and PACKAGE FOR YOU fills the bottom in yellow bubble letters with a red shadow. The present is right there, perfectly innocent, which is why it’s the boldest innuendo Christmas jumper in the gallery.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe portrait is printed large on the chest in bright, full colour, with a thick black outline that holds up on all 11 colours: red, purple, navy, royal blue, charcoal, Irish green, forest green, maroon, sport grey, black and white. It’s made for the girls’ night out, a hen-style Christmas do and the Secret Santa where you want to make your colleague blush. Of all our funny Christmas jumpers, this one has the most chest hair. It ranks among the hilarious Christmas jumpers that work equally well as a gift for him or a dare for her.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt’s one of our rude Christmas jumpers that commits fully to the pose. Calling it an offensive Christmas jumper would be unfair; he’s only offering a present. Hang it next to our rude Xmas jumpers, offensive Xmas jumpers and inappropriate Christmas jumpers as the centrepiece of the collection. A bit of the profit from every order also goes to mental-health charities. Select a colour and size, add it to your basket and order early, ahead of the Christmas rush and the postman. It belongs among the funniest Xmas jumpers we sell, and no other funny Xmas jumpers or inappropriate Xmas jumpers in the range are quite this romantic. Unwrap with care.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eProduct features\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Medium-heavy 8.0 oz\/yd² (271 g\/m²) 50\/50 cotton-polyester blend for comfort and durability\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Classic fit with a crew neckline and shape-retaining ribbed collar\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Double-needle stitching at key seams for added durability\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Tubular knit construction without side seams for reduced fabric waste and a smooth look\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Adult sweatshirt with ethically grown US cotton and OEKO-TEX® STANDARD 100 certified dyes\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Do not 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