{"product_id":"the-christmas-santapede-funny-christmas-jumper","title":"The Christmas Santapede Funny Christmas Jumper","description":"\u003cp\u003eSome Christmas traditions are best kept quiet, and this one comes with its own warning sign. Our The Christmas Santapede funny Christmas jumper shows a bright yellow sign with a thick black border, where Santa crawls along a snowy ground on all fours with a startled face and three red exclamation marks above his head. Behind him, nose to tail, two grumpy elves in green crawl along in a very close conga line. THE CHRISTMAS is printed in heavy black letters at the top, and SANTAPEDE runs underneath in big red bubble letters edged in white and green. If you know the film it’s spoofing, you’ll wince and laugh at once. Either way, it’s an innuendo Christmas jumper for people with strong stomachs.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe warning sign is printed large on the chest in bright, full colour, with a thick black outline that reads on all 11 colours: red, purple, navy, royal blue, charcoal, Irish green, forest green, maroon, sport grey, black and white. It’s built for horror fans, the office Christmas party crowd who think they’ve seen it all and the Secret Santa where you want gasps rather than giggles. We sell lots of funny Christmas jumpers, but this is the one that clears a room. It sits among the hilarious Christmas jumpers that people still bring up next December.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePlenty of rude Christmas jumpers aim for cheeky. This one aims for horrified, and it’s proudly an offensive Christmas jumper for anyone who gets it. Shelve it beside our rude Xmas jumpers, offensive Xmas jumpers and inappropriate Christmas jumpers at the far end of the rail. There’s a decent side: part of our profits goes to mental-health charities. Pick a colour, choose your size, add it to your basket and order early, because the Christmas rush is a queue no one wants to join. Only the brave will wear what might be the most alarming of our funny Xmas jumpers and inappropriate Xmas jumpers, and the brave say it’s one of the funniest Xmas jumpers they own. Stay close, lads.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eProduct features\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Medium-heavy 8.0 oz\/yd² (271 g\/m²) 50\/50 cotton-polyester blend for comfort and durability\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Classic fit with a crew neckline and shape-retaining ribbed collar\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Double-needle stitching at key seams for added durability\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Tubular knit construction without side seams for reduced fabric waste and a smooth look\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Adult sweatshirt with ethically grown US cotton and OEKO-TEX® STANDARD 100 certified dyes\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Do not 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