When I Think About You I Touch My Elf Funny Christmas Jumper

Love makes people do strange things, and in December it makes elves do stranger ones. Our When I Think About You I Touch My Elf funny Christmas jumper is a valentine with tinsel on. A grown-up elf with a ginger moustache, heart-shaped eyes and a belly peeping out under his green tunic sits in the middle of a hot-pink heart, hugging himself tight while red hearts and white sparkles float around him. WHEN I THINK ABOUT YOU arches over the top in white, a green ribbon says I TOUCH MY, and ELF finishes it in lime-green bubble letters, a little elf hat perched on the E. Read it fast and it’s myself. Read it slowly and it’s still myself. That’s the innuendo Christmas jumper in one line.

The heart is printed large on the front in bright, full colour, edged with a thick black outline so it stands out on all 11 colours: red, purple, navy, royal blue, charcoal, Irish green, forest green, maroon, sport grey, black and white. It’s made for a girls’ night out, a Christmas date, or swapping with your other half at Secret Santa. Plenty of funny Christmas jumpers aim for laughs; hilarious Christmas jumpers like this one also get a blush.

Sweet on the outside, rude underneath: the best rude Christmas jumpers usually are. It’s far too soppy to be a truly offensive Christmas jumper, yet it sits happily among our rude Xmas jumpers, offensive Xmas jumpers and inappropriate Christmas jumpers, and it’s one of the funniest Xmas jumpers for couples. There’s a kind side, too, because Bad Shirt Club gives part of its profits to mental-health charities. Select your colour and your size, add it to your basket, and order early while the Christmas rush is still a rumour. Funny Xmas jumpers and inappropriate Xmas jumpers make great love letters. Think of it as a card that says it all, by itself.

Product features

- Medium-heavy 8.0 oz/yd² (271 g/m²) 50/50 cotton-polyester blend for comfort and durability

- Classic fit with a crew neckline and shape-retaining ribbed collar

- Double-needle stitching at key seams for added durability

- Tubular knit construction without side seams for reduced fabric waste and a smooth look

- Adult sweatshirt with ethically grown US cotton and OEKO-TEX® STANDARD 100 certified dyes

Care instructions

- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)

- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed

- Tumble dry: low heat

- Do not dryclean

- Do not iron

Shipping Destinations:

• We now only ship within Mainland UK. Sorry international friends and sorry, Northern Ireland our shirts are staying local for now.
• One exception: our Stag Tees are fulfilled globally and can be shipped internationally, we're bringing the party worldwide, one stag do at a time.

Shipping Methods & Rates (excluding Funny T-shirts, Sweatshirts & Hoodies):
You’ve got two options at checkout:

• Standard – £4.95
  Estimated arrival: 2–4 working days after dispatch
• Next Day Delivery (order before 3pm, Mon–Fri) – £7.95
   Delivered the next working day after dispatch

FREE Next Day Delivery on orders over £50 (Mainland UK only)

Handling Time:

• Orders placed before 3pm (Mon–Fri) are dispatched the same day
• Orders placed after 3pm or on weekends ship the next working day

Tracking Your Order:
Once your order’s on its way, you’ll get a DHL tracking number with all the bells and whistles:

• Real-time tracking to your doorstep
• Photo proof of delivery
• SMS or email delivery updates
• Options to rearrange delivery if you’re out pretending to work

Packaging:

• All orders are shipped in our 100% recycled (and very loud) packaging. Stylish and sustainable, just like you.

Shipping Insurance:

• All shipments are covered up to £150 via DHL.

Return & Exchange Policy:

• Change of heart? No problem. Start your return or exchange by emailing us at info@badshirt.club. Just a heads up, return shipping costs are on you.

Damaged Shipments:

• Oops! If your order arrives in less than perfect condition, let us know immediately. We’re here to help.

Contact Us:

• Questions? Concerns? Compliments? Reach us at info@badshirt.club we’d love to hear from you.

Updates and Notifications:

You’ll get:

• Order confirmation
• Shipping notification with tracking
• Delivery confirmation once it lands

⚠️  Print on Demand (T-shirts, Sweatshirts & Hoodies)

Print of demand products work differently to the rest of our range. They're made to order and fulfilled globally, making them the only Bad Shirt Club product we ship internationally.

Please allow approximately 2–7 business days for production, plus the delivery time shown at checkout. These are estimates and may vary depending on the season, product availability, and order size.

• UK: From £3.75 | Estimated delivery (excluding production time) 3 - 5 business days
• Rest of the World: 3–30 business days depending on location. Check the shipping calculator at checkout for the most up-to-date estimate.
  

Please note that delivery times are estimates only and are not guaranteed. If your order takes longer than the estimated timeframe, we're still unable to offer a refund or return, as Stag Tees are non-refundable and non-returnable made-to-order items. If you need your tee for a specific event, please allow plenty of time when placing your order. 

Please allow up to 15 business days from placing the order to receive your product. 

Thank you for choosing Bad Shirt Club. Happy shopping!

Introduction:

At Bad Shirt Club, we pride ourselves on delivering the most vibrant, attention-grabbing shirts and men’s co-ord sets designed to be conversation starters, both in style and as a beacon for mental health awareness. We understand that shopping online is different from in-person experiences, so we’ve crafted a Returns & Refunds Policy that upholds both UK law and our commitment to customer satisfaction.

Your Right to Cancel and Return:

As per the UK’s distance selling regulations, you have the right to notify us within 14 days of receiving your goods if you wish to cancel your order. Following this notification, you’ll have an additional 14 days to return the items to us. No reason is necessary, and we respect your decision.

Conditions for Returns:

1. Eligibility: We can only process returns for items that are unworn, in their original packaging, and in a re-saleable condition. This ensures that our products maintain their quality for all customers.
2. Notification Window: You must inform us of your intent to return within 14 days of receiving your order. Following this, you have another 14 days to send the item(s) back.
3. Delivery Mode: For the safety and security of your returned items, we strongly advise using a tracked delivery service. Please note that we cannot be held responsible for items that don’t reach us without tracking evidence.
4. Costs: Return postage must be borne by the customer. While we strive to offer competitive pricing and quality, we’re unable to refund the original shipping costs.
5. Free Gifts: If your order included a complimentary gift, it must be returned alongside the purchased items. If the gift isn’t returned, we’ll deduct its value from your refund.

Processing Your Refund:
Upon receipt of the returned items and after verifying their condition, we will initiate the refund process. Kindly allow up to 14 working days from the date we receive the returned items for your refund to be processed. As a company dedicated to championing mental health, we appreciate your patience and understanding.

How to Return Your Items:

1. Notify us of your intent to return via email at info@badshirt.club within the 14-day window.
2. If the order is eligible, we'll inform you of the return address via email.
3. Package your items carefully, ensuring they are unworn, in their original condition and in the original packaging.
4. Include a note inside the package with your order number for faster processing.
   

Exclusions:

Please understand that we reserve the right to refuse returns and refunds if the conditions stated above are not met. This policy is designed in accordance with UK law and to ensure the best possible experience for all of our cherished customers.

⚠️ Print on demand T-shirts, hoodies & sweatshirts (Made to Order)

Our print on demand range is made to order especially for you. Because these aren’t stocked or mass produced they fall under the “made to order” exception in UK consumer law.

That means we don’t accept returns or offer refunds for these items if you change your mind order the wrong size or realise your nan might see the photos

 We’ll still sort you out if something arrives damaged defective or not as described.

Please check the size guide carefully and triple check your order before confirming. Once it’s in the system we can't recall it. The printers are fast furious and allergic to second chances.

Questions & Concerns:
Our team is always here to assist. Should you have any questions regarding our Returns & Refunds Policy, or any other inquiries, please contact us at info@badshirt.club. Your peace of mind is paramount to us, and we’re here to help every step of the way.